Blogging from the blackberry. The world is over...

- Ivan

Stuff worth watching...

Every so often, I find something that makes me giggle like a school girl. Enjoy. HAHAH

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Welcome Home

- Paradise. Or so it seems...

I don't want to seem ungrateful. AT ALL


I'm just not a fan of this place... but before you can understand that, I'll start from the beginning.

New York didn't work out quite as planned. A mixture of unfortunate incidents made in nearly impossible to stay. Yes, we probably could have fought a little harder, but who were we kidding? We realized that it didn't matter what others thought, we had nothing to prove. We did our best. Our job situation was horrible, our apartment was tiny (which had nothing else been wrong, this would have been ok. Seriously. ) Rosie passing away, and the way it happened... Anyway, I needed to leave. Cassie went home for Christmas and never came back ... me and Jaman spent a few quite days, and then we got the hell out of dodge...










Onto Savy Sav. C-Port... back to Savannah.

This was a tough one. Destin or Savannah... (based on our current location, the choice seemed obvious) We decided we would try out Savannah. Well, I did, Jaman just came (he's not a big fan of Savannah)


...We should have known not to listen to me. All Savannah did was depress me even more.

So we left, we talked with my parents, and we collectively decided to move back home.










Destin.

We move to Destin, with thoughts of banking this summer, spending time with our Florida friends, seeing my parents and then move to San Diego.

Simple right? Easy summer, beaches, boats and all that jazz.

Fuck that. You didn't think it was going to be easy did you?

We are here for two days. My niece gets diagnosed with stage 4 neuroblastoma (a rare infant cancer) and the largest oil spill happens on the gulf coast.

For real?

This oil spill has sent everyone in a panic. Tourist have canceled reservations, restaurants aren't hiring...things really could not get any worse.

At the same time. DJ has a runny house, she seems tired...she's got a cold.




Wrong. She goes from a cold to pneumonia to full blown cancer within a week.



Our worlds have been turned upside down.


BUT

I'm back.

better than ever.

Welcome to New York City

Hello world.

Hello New York City.


I made it.

I live in the most amazing city in the world.

Sometimes.

I want to start of by saying that, yes, I am in NYC and yes, I am living the dream and blah blah blah. This is something that I have been wanting for the better part of my life, and finally I made it. I did it. I finally did something for myself, on my own, with two of the most amazing people I know. So yes, I am proud of myself and trust me, I'll never forget that...


But let's look at the real deal.

I am one of the millions that call this place home.

I like to be center of attention, and surprise, surprise, it's not happening here.

I am somewhat not OK with that...


I am pretty sure I have an anxiety problem, and its not a big deal. I realize that I am not going to find my "niche" overnight. Really, I've been here 20 days. It took Carrie Brandshaw 3 years just to find an apartment... [=)]. Still its all a bit daunting, a bit intimidating...

Really, I just want to join those millions that walk with a purpose, while I get lost in the shuffle.

Please no take this the wrong way. I love it here, and probably never leaving...

I just got to get it together...

2Modern Design Talk - Modern Furniture & Design Blog: Forget the Wrapping Paper and Fancy Ribbon...

2Modern Design Talk - Modern Furniture & Design Blog: Forget the Wrapping Paper and Fancy Ribbon...

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Le sigh

Hm.


What to say about Michigan State's loss.

Before I get into the game, I have to say how irresponsible the press prelude to this game was. The state of Michigan's economic woe could not have been solved by a Spartan victory last night. To try and put the fate of Michigan's fiscal stability on the shoulders of 19 year old communications majors is unjust to both MSU players who don't need that extra psych-out but also deflects responsibility away from the idiotcrats who deserve it. Additionally, as a lifelong Spartan fan, I can safely say that most of metro Detroit could not give a shit less about MSU during football season but come March Madness all of a sudden everyone is a Spartan fan.

Back to the game...

UNC did what they always do. They got their run and they ran with it. MSU failed to do what it's good at- controlling the pace, slowing down, taking their time and doing it right. Last night they tried to play UNC's quick, cutting game. They couldn't do it; they quickly got flustered and made foolish mistakes.

For his part, Tom Izzo again proved himself. Whatever he said at the half registered- MSU came out stronger and harder. But the gap was too big and Carolina was too ready.

Readiness may well be the theme of this National Championship. UNC's squad was ready with five senior starters fresh off a devastating Championship loss last year. Izzo's Spartans were young and unprepared for the level of basketball drama. But Tom Izzo is playing chess- building his squad, making his move slowly.

Bottom line: they'll be back.

Identity Crisis

So here's whats up.

I have fallen victim to the identity theft game. Yes. Its true. Someone has robbed me of my social security number, created bunk accounts, fraudulently accepted services and health care - using all of my information. The long and short of it is that I'm fucked. Nearly two years ago, I was robbed. I was approached in the parking lot, of a well lit gas station, by an old man wearing a trench coat. Here is the dialogue we exchanged:

"Can I have your purse?" -- Robber.
"Ha..Ha.." -- Me, the fool.
"No. Really." -- Robber.

This man was old enough to be my grandfather and looked mostly harmless. Sadly, I'm always expecting to be raped, attacked, shot, stabbed and die - thus, I was worried he came with weapons. He was calm. I thought he was joking. I laughed. He wasn't joking. I gave him my bag of bullshit and left. I immediately canceled my credit cards and thought all was good in the hood. Turns out, my social security card was in said wallet.

Today, only after receiving checks and a debit card from a bank that has now frozen my accounts so hard that they will not even talk to to me on the phone, for fear that I am Rachel #2 (the perpetrator). The little advice/information they did extend to me was that I need to fetch them a original birth certificate, a new social security card and my most recent tax return. Sadly. I've lost my social security card (like an idiot), only have a copy of my birth certificate and need one or the other to get the valid replacements of either.

In addition to the fuckery that TCF Bank (The Cunt Factory as I have now deemed the institution) is throwing my way, I got served. Yes. Served.

Harmless, older man comes to the door looking as any other salesmen would. This man did not offer lawn services or religious documents - he had a "request and right for garnishment" court document. The document stated that I was to pay $3,500 to some law firm, excluding attorney fees and other miscellaneous fines for a defaulted account. Turns out if you don't hand it to them, they'll come and take it from you. Nice.

Upon close review of this document, I realized that the bank it was going to was not the bank I'd had my one and ONLY credit account with. It was a different bank, account number and amount.

The best part of all of this is that I've been paying on this account for the last 10 months. Because it was another Capital One account, I'd neglected to check for my original account number each billing period. What does this all mean? I've now defaulted on my account, leaving a legitimate $400 dollar debt to my actual name, with an additional $3500 one that the other Rachel Hogan opened up. I'm an idiot.

At this time, it seemed wise to check my credit report. I now have 4 open accounts. ONE OF WHICH I ACTUALLY OPENED. My bank account has now been closed and the bank has "absorbed" my savings. I have a solid 517 credit score and have an appointment with a lawyer on the 3rd.

As though bad doesn't always get worse for me, I began bartending again on Monday. My first table sat for 4 hours, drank water, used 4 extra chairs for coat storage (elimainating the other potential table I might get) and had a bill of $24. He paid with a credit card. My tip? Oh, I was left with a business style card reading:

"I didn't leave a tip. This wasn't because the service was bad, but because you failed to check my ID. The back of my credit card said "see ID". Tell your co-workers."


If you need me, I'll be at home, pissed. I'll be alone, broke - researching identity theft, waiting for my court date and listening to "the sun will come out tomorrow" - by Annie.

Its time to write.

What the hell?

I haven't posted in God knows how long and I have no idea why.


Actually I may know the culprit here...

We got a Wii.

The wii is the devil. It is addicting and its causing me to wanna kick some ass in tennis instead of getting my life together. Figures.

Let me redeem myself...

I bought the Wii with the idea of getting fit. Laugh all you want, but its been proven that playing the wii causes circulation flow, quicker responses from your brain and so on and so on. I have yet to buy the Wii fit. I tried two stores yesterday and they were both sold out. Whatever. So far tennis is kicking my ass...

Anyway I guess it was my turn to apologize for being the worlds laziest blogger.

I'm sorry

gee

Neil Young

Yo.

First and foremost, after reading the last few blogs posted by the fabulous C-bo, I've realized that my postings make me sound as deep as the depressions on a nickle. Sorry for this. You ought to have been warned. I should have said something.

(( I swear I'm deep. I care about world peace, Eco-friendly shit and Elephants. How much deeper do you want? :))

Now, onto more pressing matters. I feel I am a driven person. When I set my mind to doing something, in most cases - I succeed. Sadly, I focus my energy on absurd goals. This being said, my March resolution is to find out where Neil Young lives, speak with him, and coerce him into falling in love with me. I realize this could be a difficult mission, but I plan on succeeding. Take note of the fact that I make monthly resolutions as opposed to a yearly one. I tend to lose focus after a few weeks, thus monthly aspirations are much more tangible.

I have searched for information on him relentlessly via the inter-webs and have come up with some promising results. Turns out, he currently resides in California, while holding properties in Florida and throughout the islands of Hawaii. Now. For those of you readers who have decided I'm a psycho stalker, you've been mislead. The reality of my unique aspiration holds nothing but good intentions. I would like to express to him how greatly his music has shaped the entirety of my life. At a young age, I was introduced to Neil Young's beautiful music and eloquent lyrical expression. Over the years, Neil has managed to excite me, calm me and easy my mind throughout times of struggle. Neil Young's music has been the backdrop for many of the most memorable moments in my life. I would love to tell him this.

You may be wondering about the coercion part. .

I believe that I should have been born in 1958, give or take a year. At the ripe age of 16 (1974), I would have been wondering about Nixon, waiting for Ted Bundy to kill me, peacefully swaying to Joni Mitchell's new album "Court and Spark", saying goodbye to Ed Sullivan, dancing to "killer queen" by Queen", becoming a "rebel, rebel" (Bowie), preaching peace with other hipsters and attending as many Led Zeppelin, Bob Dylan, CSNY, Hendrix and Beatles concerts as possible. For whatever reason, 1974 sounds a bit more appealing that 2009, featuring Solja Boi. Call me crazy.

I feel cheated. Now, at the age of twenty-two, I am left shiftless. Had I in fact been born in 58', I would have had plenty of time to embrace the new sexual revolution, cannabis and perhaps LSD. I would have been completely strung out and willing to "explore myself" with the musical greatness that was around for the taking. Perhaps I'd have been a groupie. NOW, I am forced to grab onto whatever paisley printed, poorly made t-shirt I can find from the Westland Mall and play fake Hippie - all while driving around in my cobalt, with Pucholli air fresheners strewn about, listening to Neil Young live, from my IPod. Fuck.

This all being said, I have got to do this. I haven't got much more time. Wish me luck.

Oh, Canada!

The other night, while watching Degrassi: The Next Generation, my friends and I came to the realization that none of us really know what the fuck is going on in Canada. So I put it on my to-do list to google Canada. This is what I've unearthed:



Ah, Canada. Breathe it in.

Canada, as most people will readily tell you, is America's wacky cousin to the north. Something I did not know about Canada is that is the second largest country in the world in area. Canucks! Who would've thought?

Canada is also divided into provinces.

They're like states but bigger and more Canadian. And unlike states in the US, Canadian provinces have actual power. In fact, in Canada, it is the provinces that enact most of the social systems, not the federal government. The provinces also have more money than the federal government. Apparently, no other country in the world divides power this way.

I decided, upon learning this that the most fruitful approach to wrestling Canada into my intellectual headlock would be to explore the provinces (and three territories!) one at a time. Starting in the northwest.



The Yukon Territory!

From what I gathered, the Yukon Territory, despite laying claim to the oldest human remains in North America, was one of the last places the white devil tried to penetrate. However, penetrate he did. The Russkis were the first, back in 1740 but peaced out pretty quickly. Representatives of the Hudson Bay Company (specializing in mining, commerce, expansion and undoubtedly genocide) scurried up there from British Colombia roundabouts 1840. Native Inuit people, less than thrilled to have their main trade route squatted on by the blue-eyed devils, waited until the fort settlement was empty, robbed it and burned it down. Undaunted, the Hudson Bay company proceeded to seize and sell every natural resource they could find. In 1898, gold was discovered and everybody shit a brick.

This was what legitimate research got me. But what about now? I thought. I decided to take another approach.

Myspace!

My browsing of those within a 250 mile radius of Dawson, Yukon Territory (postal code Y0B 1G0) led me to the conclusion that people in the Yukon like heavy metal and ice hockey. They look like this guy:


What's up guy?

General conclusion: the Yukon Territory is boring and depressing. Moving on...

Northwest Territories and Nunavut

The Northwest Territories is a place so overwhelmingly lame that Canada didn't even bother to give it a proper name. Its name is just a general description. Apparently the Northwest Territories is literally the part of Canada that no other province wanted. Hudson Bay Company basically sold it because they were bored with it. Its population is about the same as my hometown of Garden City, Michigan (about 50,000) spread over an area eight times the size of the entire state of Michigan. Wow.

Nunavut, however, is admittedly badass. Originally part of the Northwest Territories, Nunavut got to become its own Inuit/English speaking province in 1999 and has vowed to preserve the Inuit language and create an entirely Inuit/English bilingual population by 2020. Benjamin Lee Whorf would be proud. Also, Nunavut's Baffin Island is the famed Helluland (Land of the Smooth Stones) from the Norse sagas of Leif Erikkson. Caucasian artifacts from the island predate even the Norse exploration- meaning white folks were all up in that shit before the 18th century. Now the Inuit got it back. BOO-YAH! Faced!

Back to the Canadian grind...

...

...

...

I began researching British Colombia and my computer began to fail me. I'm taking this as a sign that I don't need to know any more about Canada. If I want more, I'll just have to go.

Plus I'm bored.

Peace.

-cbo

Fuck a Duvet

It is approximately 3:00AM and I am pissed. I have realized, after a long day of terribly annoying shit that I may or may not suffer a massive heart attack if I do not remove some of the redundant bullshit that inhabits my life. Furthermore, today has solidified the fact that this world is chaos and many everyday things were sent here to pester me .

#1. Fuck Peanuts. What is happening with the peanut recall? I am now terrified of eating anything that may have at one point in time, been stored in the same building as said contaminated peanuts. I can now add another phobia to the existing laundry list of debilitating fears. Great.

#2. Fuck Lighters. Not one, BUT two of them broken in my hands today. One of the few joys of cigarette smoking is how quickly it can be done. Simply pull a cigarette out, flick your Bic and there you go. Delightful nicotine goodness. I would like to meet the person who invented the clear, multicolored, cheap as dirt lighters. The " 3 for a dollar" gimmick should be changed to "get 3, because god knows you'll need at least 3 to light up." Thanks a lot.

#3. Fuck Taco Bell. For years, yes years, I have patronized this quick and disgusting establishment and I have now been let down for the last time. Kids meals : two tacos, nacho's and cheese and a delightful toy to accompany you whilst you fill your body with toxins. Not anymore. Now, you get two tacos, cinnamon twists and a children's PC game. I really just wanted to nachos :( .

And finally,

#4. Fuck a Duvet. The idea of a duvet is to cover and protect your down comforter. I have several different types of duvets in my lifetime and have hated all of them. The newest one has buttons on the side, 8 in total. Well 4 of them popped off the first night and the two remaining ones and get fucked. I literally woke up in a sweaty panic, tangled up inside of this thing. I would like to stuff who ever created this $80, half open, poorly constructed piece of fabric - INSIDE of my duvet. Good luck getting out, hope you've got some extra time. My duvet is now in 3 pieces. Yes, I tore it to free myself. I panicked.


Well that's enough of that. I am obviously quite disgruntled. The only thing left to happen now is to have Cassie and Ivan come to Michigan to cheer me up. So, lets get on with it.

Hope all is well.


Rachel

Chris Brown Goes to Jail

Celebrities are just like us.!!!


So apparently Chris Brown got arrested for beating up Rhianna. .... (hehehe)

.Allegedly.




SO.. according to police results, police responded to a 911 call from an "unidentified" woman reporting a battery around 12:20 am. Feb 8 2009, identifying Chris Brown as her attacker.

Earlier today, Chris Brown and Rhianna cancel their Grammy performance, due to a car accident.

Her Publicist say she's okay shortly after.

At around 7 pm yesterday, Chris Brown turned himself in to the police.

uh HUH

Craziness. I wonder what Rhiannna did to him? What a little prick...

Campus Brawl

"I think the way it was portrayed is a little skewed and it puts Cheyney in a bad light, which is not good for us, because, from what I know, it doesn't accurately get the whole scope of the whole night and it's a very sensationalist video," George Bush, Cheyney student body president

OK, Seriously

Fighting is dumb. Whats the point, it really solves nothing, in the end, as you sit there with a puffy black eye, looking like an idiot...guess what? You still have that problem.
I guess "dudes" find that fighting proves some sort of masculinity. Whatever, that is not true.
Further more, I think racism is ridiculous and way unnecessary.

Anyway, I just happened to find it funny. Hearing the names in the sentences, was kind of like playing mad libs.

Laugh a little!


If you wanna read the whole thing, click me!

...and then this happened at the Super Bowl (if you are under 18 or/ and easily offended by a penis...Don't watch this)

Bruce Springsteen hits the camera with his crotch, the Steelers win in the last seconds, and in Tucson, Arizona the game was interrupted with a short clip of...well... Porn

This is so much better than Janet's nipple....



I don't even know where to begin with this one.


and with no comparison, here is the almighty Bruce...





If you wanna read the article on the porn escapade, click here

Super Bowl 09 Ads

OK, at least have of us watch the Super Bowl to see the commercials. Its no secret that during the airing of the Super Bowl, some of the best commercials will air.

This one is my favorite by far... (He's so hot)

This one, was my least favorite, They are all good... but this one...

for some reason, I didn't laugh... I just thought it was dumb. Real dumb. I know a bunch of people disagree with me.

Fuck you, its my blog.

Here is a link you can click to see the rest of them...

Check 'em out.

Super Bowl XLIII

Congrats to the Pittsburgh Steelers. (Barely)















To all the Arizona fans... The Cardinals did a damn good job. They almost had it, but in the end, the steelers took it home, making this their sixth Super Bowl win.

(greedy jerks)



I don't know much about football*, only what I learned cheering, but the game was exciting, fun and a roller coaster ride. Which is what I imagine the Super Bowl to be...an amazing game, good fatty foods, and of course men in tight pants. (I'm just saying)













*(So this was my attempt to blog about sports...I'm sorry had this been about gymnastics...I would have gotten a Pulitzer)

The weekley address

• Check email? Check
  
• Browse some Internet shopping sites? Check
  
• Keep in contact with friends? Check
  
• Read some blogs? Check
  

And now?

• Listen to what the president of the US has to say about my future? Check!
  

I commend you Omaba!
The Internet (or arpanet, as it was once called) has been around for a hot minute but it has been publicly traded since the early 90's, and allowing the common person access to a million and one things. Which is why it makes perfect sense for our president to communicate with us through a video blog. Omaba started targeting an audience that Bush forgot about...

My generation.

Therefor, increasing his popular vote and giving us, not the white haired, privileged, Caucasian men, but the normal, 18-30year old group of people that in end, somewhat care.

Here he talks about reviving the economic system, keeping a close eye on big CEO's to make sure that our (taxpayers) dollars are not being abused, and most important, doing something about the housing market and get credit flowing once again.

Watch it here!

The New Pres.

The airwaves have been crazy with talk about newly elected president Barack Hussein Obama. Frankly I don't understand... why not give him the benefit of the doubt? Seriously, with all the respect to Bush and his family, things somewhere along the lines, in the last 6 years, alot got real messed up. Who cares...let it go, lets not blame fingers anymore. Let's worry about re-building this economy, so we too can have a chance at being successful. If we keep harping on about things that happened and all that crap, we're just gonna sink deeper and deeper...So I promise, I take a vow to never bring up the shit that Bush put us through. (the hunger, the financial ruins, the recession) Et cetera Et cetera....




ok, so not really...

Omaba has some good stuff to say... I say to all the non believers. let the republican democrat crap go! let focus on some other stuff besides labels and shit.

It is time for a change.




so what do you think?

you can call that man anything you want, say whatever you want, but you can't deny that he is right!

Goodbye George. Thanks for the last 8 years.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Goodbye.
Farewell.


Need I say more.

Why on earth is the inauguration costing so much!

So far...160 million

• Bush has declared a State of Emergency in order to pay for the security during the inauguration.
  
• A full 90 percent of donations to fund Barack Obama’s Jan. 20 inauguration have come from well-heeled fundraisers — including Wall Street executives whose companies have received federal bailout money.
• 15 million were taken out of the money from the "bailout" loan
  

God. I can't believe how much money they are spending on this. I get it. Everyone is excited, I am so super excited, but America doesn't have this kind of money, Companies are begging congress to "borrow, draw, create, etc" money just to stay afloat. America is borrowing money from other countries, sinking in such debt that some Americas fear retaliation may be coming from pissed off countries.
I know, that aside from the 15 million dollars, the rest are donations*. But still, can't those people "donate" that to help the country they live in? I don't know, maybe because I'm "living" in this recession, I realize how this is affecting the everyday person. We don't have money to pay our credit card bills, much less donate to a party.
Further more. I am ashamed that Obama would even let this happen. I mean he is a politician, and honestly, I think both parties have showed us plenty of reasons to distrust. Sometimes I want to believe that he will do everything he is promising...

Anyway,

Still... I have my fingers crossed and I am praying that something happens to where we just learn to live. Learn to get along, stop making wars about bullshit and please god, to not let bitches like Ann Coulter speak in public.

I'm just saying.

*(newsmeat.com
is an awesome website that gives you access to view how much people have donated and to which particular party)